After the sudden death of her husband, Sheryl Sandberg felt certain that she and her children would never feel pure joy again. “I was in ‘the void,’” she writes, “a vast emptiness that fills your heart and lungs and restricts your ability to think or even breathe.” Her friend Adam Grant, a psychologist at Wharton, told her there are concrete steps people can take to recover and rebound from life-shattering experiences. We are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. It is a muscle that everyone can build.
Option B combines Sheryl’s personal insights with Adam’s eye-opening research on finding strength in the face of adversity. Beginning with the gut-wrenching moment when she finds her husband, Dave Goldberg, collapsed on a gym floor, Sheryl opens up her heart—and her journal—to describe the acute grief and isolation she felt in the wake of his death. But Option B goes beyond Sheryl’s loss to explore how a broad range of people have overcome hardships including illness, job loss, sexual assault, natural disasters, and the violence of war. Their stories reveal the capacity of the human spirit to persevere . . . and to rediscover joy.
Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. Even after the most devastating events, it is possible to grow by finding deeper meaning and gaining greater appreciation in our lives. Option B illuminates how to help others in crisis, develop compassion for ourselves, raise strong children, and create resilient families, communities, and workplaces. Many of these lessons can be applied to everyday struggles, allowing us to brave whatever lies ahead. Two weeks after losing her husband, Sheryl was preparing for a father-child activity. “I want Dave,” she cried. Her friend replied, “Option A is not available,” and then promised to help her make the most of Option B.
We all live some form of Option B. This book will help us all make the most of it.
After the sudden death of her husband, Sheryl Sandberg felt certain that she and her children would never feel pure joy again. “I was in ‘the void,’” she writes, “a vast emptiness that fills your heart and lungs and restricts your ability to think or even breathe.” Her friend Adam Grant, a psychologist at Wharton, told her there are concrete steps people can take to recover and rebound from life-shattering experiences. We are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. It is a muscle that everyone can build.
Option B combines Sheryl’s personal insights with Adam’s eye-opening research on finding strength in the face of adversity. Beginning with the gut-wrenching moment when she finds her husband, Dave Goldberg, collapsed on a gym floor, Sheryl opens up her heart—and her journal—to describe the acute grief and isolation she felt in the wake of his death. But Option B goes beyond Sheryl’s loss to explore how a broad range of people have overcome hardships including illness, job loss, sexual assault, natural disasters, and the violence of war. Their stories reveal the capacity of the human spirit to persevere . . . and to rediscover joy.
Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. Even after the most devastating events, it is possible to grow by finding deeper meaning and gaining greater appreciation in our lives. Option B illuminates how to help others in crisis, develop compassion for ourselves, raise strong children, and create resilient families, communities, and workplaces. Many of these lessons can be applied to everyday struggles, allowing us to brave whatever lies ahead. Two weeks after losing her husband, Sheryl was preparing for a father-child activity. “I want Dave,” she cried. Her friend replied, “Option A is not available,” and then promised to help her make the most of Option B.
We all live some form of Option B. This book will help us all make the most of it.
Critiques-
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April 3, 2017
Sandberg (Lean In), the COO of Facebook, and Grant (Originals), a Wharton professor of psychology, affirm in their helpful and hopeful new book that “there’s no one way to grieve and no one way to comfort.” For those who have suffered through a tragedy, this book provides helpful advice in the form of case studies, expert commentary, coping mechanisms, and, most of all, hope, expounding upon “the capacity of the human spirit to persevere.” Sandberg draws on her own pain around the sudden death of her husband, Dave, and shares what she has learned about resilience with a tone that is raw and candid. Her experiences led her to ask how others have dealt with and survived such adversity. These interviewees supply their stories, and Grant shares his perspective and knowledge as a psychologist. Both authors show how positive outcomes, such as strengthened relationships and a greater sense of gratitude, can be gleaned from awful situations. Those suffering as well as those seeking to provide comfort should find both solace and wisdom in this book, which observes, “Resilience is not a fixed personality trait. It’s a lifelong project.” -
April 15, 2017
A memoir of the loss of a husband and finding a path forward beyond the grieving process.Sandberg (Lean In for Graduates: With New Chapters by Experts, Including Find Your First Job, Negotiate Your Salary, and Own Who You Are, 2014, etc.) was living a life with all of the fulfillments one could hope for. After a comfortable upbringing and education at Harvard, she worked her way up to become a vice president at Google and eventually the COO of Facebook. She presented a popular TED talk and then wrote a book on her "lean in" conceptualization of women in the workplace. However, no amount of professional accomplishment could prepare her for the sudden passing of her husband, Dave, in 2015, after which she had to figure out how to carry on as a mother of two and make the shattered pieces fit back together. This moving book is the result. Writing with Grant (Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World, 2016, etc.), a highly rated professor at Wharton, Sandberg explores how to weather the storm of grief, applying concrete skills in addition to more complex theories of psychology about how to find meaning in life-changing circumstances. Going deeper and broader than the commonly understood stages of grief, the authors look at different factors that can stunt recovery after a loss--e.g., self-blame and the fear that the loss will permeate every aspect of life indefinitely. Sandberg shows her struggle with finding a comfort level regarding the sharing of her emotional status and learning when to push the level as well as when to respect it. The challenges of moving forward are immense beyond understanding for anyone outside of the experience; this accounting of Sandberg's resilience does for the process of grieving what her previous work has done for women in the workplace. A book that provides illuminating ways to make headway through the days when there doesn't seem to be a way forward.COPYRIGHT(2017) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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Starred review from May 1, 2017
Best-selling author (Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will To Lead) and Facebook COO Sandberg teams with psychologist and writer Grant (Originals) to share her heartbreaking account of coping with husband Dave Goldberg's unexpected death at age 48. While the authors concede that everyone's story is different, they explore not only what they've learned about resilience but what others have gone through in order to find joy and strength after difficulty. Sandberg and Grant demonstrate how people can discover a new purpose in life by seeking meaning in tragedy and helping others escape the quagmire of despair. VERDICT This captivating memoir offers genuine hope. Highly recommended.
Copyright 2017 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.
- Malala Yousafzai, Nobel Peace Prize winner "I recommend this inspiring book to everyone around the world. None of us can escape sadness, loss, or life's disappointments, so the best option is to find our Option B."
- Atul Gawande, author of Being Mortal "Option B is as hopeful as it is heartbreaking. Here are stories of sometimes unimaginable pain and loss, but also of how human beings nonetheless have the capacity to endure and even thrive. This book is not just an absorbing read. It also provides lessons that everyone needs to learn."
- Rebecca J. Rosen, The Atlantic "Sandberg's new book is tough, full of the raw, painful emotions . . . Option B [has] advice for people who are grieving. But it's also a book for nearly everyone--people who may not know what to say or do in the wake of a tragedy. It's also a deeply optimistic book, framed around the question, what's next?"
- The Economist "Admirably honest, optimistic . . . Sandberg shares a great deal of herself and what she has learned. At its core the book helps those who have been felled by despair: a guide both for those who have directly suffered loss and for those who are close to people who have."
