That's what "high conflict" does. It's the invisible hand of our time. And it's different from the useful friction of healthy conflict. That's good conflict, and it's a necessary force that pushes us to be better people.
High conflict is what happens when discord distills into a good-versus-evil kind of feud, the kind with an us and a them. In this state, the brain behaves differently. We feel increasingly certain of our own superiority, and everything we do to try to end the conflict, usually makes it worse. Eventually, we can start to mimic the behavior of our adversaries, harming what we hold most dear.
In this "compulsively readable" (Evan Osnos, National Book Award-winning author) book, New York Times bestselling author and award-winning journalist Amanda Ripley investigates how good people get captured by high conflict—and how they break free.
Our journey begins in California, where a world-renowned conflict expert struggles to extract himself from a political feud. Then we meet a Chicago gang leader who dedicates his life to a vendetta—only to realize, years later, that the story he'd told himself about the conflict was not quite true. Next, we travel to Colombia, to find out whether thousands of people can be nudged out of high conflict at scale. Finally, we return to America to see what happens when a group of liberal Manhattan Jews and conservative Michigan corrections officers choose to stay in each other's homes in order to understand one another better, even as they continue to disagree.
All these people, in dramatically different situations, were drawn into high conflict by similar forces, including conflict entrepreneurs, humiliation, and false binaries. But ultimately, all of them found ways to transform high conflict into good conflict, the kind that made them better people. They rehumanized and recategorized their opponents, and they revived curiosity and wonder, even as they continued to fight for what they knew was right.
People do escape high conflict. Individuals—even entire communities—can short-circuit the feedback loops of outrage and blame, if they want to. This is an "insightful and enthralling" (The New York Times Book Review) book—and a mind-opening new way to think about conflict that will transform how we move through the world.
That's what "high conflict" does. It's the invisible hand of our time. And it's different from the useful friction of healthy conflict. That's good conflict, and it's a necessary force that pushes us to be better people.
High conflict is what happens when discord distills into a good-versus-evil kind of feud, the kind with an us and a them. In this state, the brain behaves differently. We feel increasingly certain of our own superiority, and everything we do to try to end the conflict, usually makes it worse. Eventually, we can start to mimic the behavior of our adversaries, harming what we hold most dear.
In this "compulsively readable" (Evan Osnos, National Book Award-winning author) book, New York Times bestselling author and award-winning journalist Amanda Ripley investigates how good people get captured by high conflict—and how they break free.
Our journey begins in California, where a world-renowned conflict expert struggles to extract himself from a political feud. Then we meet a Chicago gang leader who dedicates his life to a vendetta—only to realize, years later, that the story he'd told himself about the conflict was not quite true. Next, we travel to Colombia, to find out whether thousands of people can be nudged out of high conflict at scale. Finally, we return to America to see what happens when a group of liberal Manhattan Jews and conservative Michigan corrections officers choose to stay in each other's homes in order to understand one another better, even as they continue to disagree.
All these people, in dramatically different situations, were drawn into high conflict by similar forces, including conflict entrepreneurs, humiliation, and false binaries. But ultimately, all of them found ways to transform high conflict into good conflict, the kind that made them better people. They rehumanized and recategorized their opponents, and they revived curiosity and wonder, even as they continued to fight for what they knew was right.
People do escape high conflict. Individuals—even entire communities—can short-circuit the feedback loops of outrage and blame, if they want to. This is an "insightful and enthralling" (The New York Times Book Review) book—and a mind-opening new way to think about conflict that will transform how we move through the world.
Reviews-
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February 15, 2021
A revealing study of "high conflict," the intractable sort that seems to be running like a virus through American society. In a society, useful conflict helps advance social causes and proves "a force that pushes us to be better people." Journalist Ripley, author of The Smartest Kids in the World, contrasts this with "high conflict," the kind that leads practitioners to label their foes as evil rather than merely opposed, that causes us to think differently--and not for the better. "We feel increasingly certain of our own superiority and, at the same time, more and more mystified by the other side," writes the author, who adds that it is possible to teach ourselves to deescalate before high conflict results in violence, which is not inevitable but is all too often how such friction works out. Ripley's observations are provocative, and she introduces us to ideas of mediation and problem-solving that would make many people less miserable if put into practice. Sometimes, however, in the manner of magazine stories, the human-interest anecdotes feel like padding. Other times, the illustrative stories are right on point, as with Ripley's account of a group of largely conservative Michiganders and largely liberal New Yorkers who met, talked, met and talked more, and realized that they had commonalities enough to help them work through their differences: "Despite everything, in defiance of all the forces keeping them in conflict, they wanted to make sense of each other." The author adds that this happy result was ephemeral. When the two camps went back home, it didn't take long before each was entrenched in their former oppositional position, some members even more radicalized. This means, she concludes, that everyone involved has to put in the work: "To keep conflict healthy in an adversarial world, the encounters can't end." Students of mediation, social psychology, and conflict resolution will find much of value here.COPYRIGHT(2021) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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March 1, 2021
Journalist Ripley (The Smartest Kids in the World, 2013; The Unthinkable, 2008) takes a deep dive into the concept of high conflict and its emergence in global and personal examples. Ripley defines high conflict as ""a conflict that becomes self-perpetuating and all-consuming, in which almost everyone ends up worse off,"" and notes that ""high conflicts happen everywhere, often under different names."" Drawing on numerous research findings and real-life stories of individuals and communities interacting in high conflict, Ripley examines these polarizing situations, and identifies stakeholders and strategies for de-escalation. The fascinating stories, global history, and dialogue from local politics Ripley includes keep the book moving at a brisk pace. Ripley helps readers understand what feeds into and drives high conflict and its aftermath, through competing narratives and complicated experiences. Readers interested in conflict management and negotiation and the decision-making process will be intrigued as Ripley thoughtfully explains the intensities and nuances of conflict, and the crux of high conflict in any setting.COPYRIGHT(2021) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
