May 9, 2016
Rehman’s spirited debut memoir illuminates the challenges of living an authentically Muslim life in America. In 1971, her arranged marriage to Khalid, a doctor, took her from her native Pakistan to New York. She humorously relates her confusion on first encountering junk mail, central heating, and bountiful American supermarkets, contrasting her new life with milestones from her early years in England and Pakistan. The Rehmans largely “put religion on hold” until their sons were born, which gave them the impetus to form a Muslim community. They helped start a local Muslim community center, raised funds for a new mosque, fasted for Ramadan, and completed the hajj. As an administrator at an interfaith hospital, Rehman came into contact with multiple religions and participated in cross-cultural feasts and presentations. Throughout, she is keen to draw distinctions between what she sees as essential to Islam and what is cultural and possibly outmoded—particularly rituals that run counter to women’s rights. The answer to extremism, she believes, is education and dialogue: “Get to be known and love thy neighbor.” With sparkling anecdotes about everything from the “Christmas-ization of Eid” to engineering her son’s marriage, Rehman lends a light heart and an open mind to the process of becoming a multicultural “hybrid.”

May 15, 2016
A heartfelt memoir plumbs the multilayered experience of being Muslim in America. With a steady infusion of verve and personality, Rehman immerses readers in the traditions of a Middle Eastern culture in which prearranged adolescent marriages (including her own) are not uncommon. In 1971, the author, the accommodating daughter of a lieutenant colonel, arrived in the United States as a 20-year-old Pakistani, planning only to remain in America for two years while her charming, charismatic husband, Khalid, finished his medical residency. Rehman appropriately counters lavish descriptions of gilded pre-wedding rituals and the pageantry of the matrimonial ceremony with discussions of the culture clash as her new life in New York City began. Her tendency to inject plucky, italicized interior asides, however, has the uneven narrative effect of being both whimsical and interruptive. Self-indulgences aside, the author writes candidly about feeling insulted when American women questioned the validity of her predestined marriage or the culture-contradictory ideas of nursing homes for elderly family members. Holidays and childbirth proved more complicated and further loosened Rehman's grip on her religion, and later, she faced the challenge of incorporating Islamic religion into the lives of her Americanized children. Though she stringently resisted her own Americanization, 44 years later, Rehman remains a content citizen with a career in hospital administration, years dedicated to women's equality, and an executive position at an Islamic multifaith organization, which, the author rivetingly details, faced an anti-Islamic backlash for their participation in the construction of a Muslim mosque blocks from the 9/11 site in downtown Manhattan. In her closing remarks, the author reflects on the contemporary shift taking place within her culture, her hopes for continued cultural pluralism in America, and the need for safe community spaces for immigrants "where we can be wholly Muslim and wholly American." Rehman's memoir offers a deeper understanding and appreciation for Muslim lifestyles while imparting a message of unity and international fellowship. A culturally rich and rewarding personal chronicle of ethnic faith and intermingled tradition.

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June 15, 2016

This candid memoir follows Rehman's journey from the time she had a hurried, arranged marriage in Pakistan through her years exploring a new life with her husband in the United States. From Rehman's first days adjusting to the novelty of electric heating to her faux pas of wearing bridal jewelry in a seedier area of New York, her story is permeated with hilarious personal experiences and asides as she adapts to the country she will soon call home. Rehman lends a strong and compelling voice to moderate Muslims, and her discussion of her faith and the areas she believes need modernization illustrate the different opinions within the Muslim community. The only part of the book that feels off is the prolog, which strikes a note of defensiveness that seems out of character with Rehman's usual confident voice and seems to indicate mistakenly that the work is about her oppression as a Muslim. VERDICT With well-placed humor, Rehman writes an entertaining and honest story of one woman's journey to fuse the cultures of her past and present to create her own experience.--Stacy Shaw, Orange, CA

Copyright 2016 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

Starred review from June 1, 2016
The immigrant's dilemma of retaining one's identity while assimilating into American society is always a fascinating story. In this autobiography, readers experience Rehman's transformation from a young woman in Pakistan to a Pakistani American in New York. In the process we see how she navigates American society, retains her identity and passes it on to her children and community, accepts becoming an American, modifies some of her traditions while manufacturing new ones, and enriches her own life and the lives of those around herthus weaving her contribution into the fabric of America, and enriching the American tapestry. The narrative is conversational, as stories blend into one another. The nuances of immigrant life show readers the various shades of assimilation and self-identityall at the same time, and in various degrees, depending on one's values. Rehman's personal journey is her own, but speaks broadly to all immigrant journeys in contemporary America. With so much discussion about Muslim immigrants in the national conversation, it's good to have a story with this unique perspective.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2016, American Library Association.)

"Rehman's personal journey is her own, but speaks broadly to all immigrant journeys in contemporary America. With so much discussion about immigrants from Muslim in the national conversation, it's good to have a story with this unique perspective."