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Please Don't Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes
Cover of Please Don't Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes
Please Don't Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes
Essays
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“[A]nother hilarious essay collection from Phoebe Robinson.”
The New York Times Book Review

“Strikes the perfect balance of brutally honest and laugh out loud funny. I didn’t want it to end.”
—Mindy Kaling, New York Times bestselling author of Why Not Me?

With sharp, timely insight, pitch-perfect pop culture references, and her always unforgettable voice, New York Times bestselling author, comedian, actress, and producer Phoebe Robinson is back with her most must-read book yet.

In her brand-new collection, Phoebe shares stories that will make you laugh, but also plenty that will hit you in the heart, inspire a little bit of rage, and maybe a lot of action. That means sharing her perspective on performative allyship, white guilt, and what happens when white people take up space in cultural movements; exploring what it’s like to be a woman who doesn’t want kids living in a society where motherhood is the crowning achievement of a straight, cis woman’s life; and how the dire state of mental health in America means that taking care of one’s mental health—aka “self-care”—usually requires disposable money.

She also shares stories about her mom slow-poking before a visit with Mrs. Obama, the stupidly fake reassurances of zip-line attendants, her favorite things about dating a white person from the UK, and how the lack of Black women in leadership positions fueled her to become the Black lady boss of her dreams. By turns perceptive, laugh-out-loud funny, and heartfelt, Please Don’t Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes is not only a brilliant look at our current cultural moment, it's also a collection that will stay with readers for years to come.
“[A]nother hilarious essay collection from Phoebe Robinson.”
The New York Times Book Review

“Strikes the perfect balance of brutally honest and laugh out loud funny. I didn’t want it to end.”
—Mindy Kaling, New York Times bestselling author of Why Not Me?

With sharp, timely insight, pitch-perfect pop culture references, and her always unforgettable voice, New York Times bestselling author, comedian, actress, and producer Phoebe Robinson is back with her most must-read book yet.

In her brand-new collection, Phoebe shares stories that will make you laugh, but also plenty that will hit you in the heart, inspire a little bit of rage, and maybe a lot of action. That means sharing her perspective on performative allyship, white guilt, and what happens when white people take up space in cultural movements; exploring what it’s like to be a woman who doesn’t want kids living in a society where motherhood is the crowning achievement of a straight, cis woman’s life; and how the dire state of mental health in America means that taking care of one’s mental health—aka “self-care”—usually requires disposable money.

She also shares stories about her mom slow-poking before a visit with Mrs. Obama, the stupidly fake reassurances of zip-line attendants, her favorite things about dating a white person from the UK, and how the lack of Black women in leadership positions fueled her to become the Black lady boss of her dreams. By turns perceptive, laugh-out-loud funny, and heartfelt, Please Don’t Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes is not only a brilliant look at our current cultural moment, it's also a collection that will stay with readers for years to come.
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Excerpts-
  • From the cover Introduction
    2020 Was Gonna Be My Year! (LOL)

    A year after Mad Men ended, I started watching it, which is very in line with my brand of “refusing to participate in cultural phenomena so as to not do what everyone else is do­ing even though I’d probably enjoy the very thing I’m missing out on.” Some of you might be thinking, Being left out seems like a curious brand, to which I respond, “Well, we can’t all be goop.” Anyway, once I started watching, I was hooked. The show is such a master class in fashion, screenwriting, and act­ing that I didn’t mind that it was no longer the topic of water­cooler conversation. In fact, everyone moving on to more current shows made me feel as though Men and its numerous iconic moments were just for me. And one scene, in particular, towers above the rest in my opinion: The Time Betty Draper J’d Off.

    I know, I know. The show has won Emmys, Golden Globes, and a Peabody Award. Made stars of Jon Hamm, Elisabeth Moss, and January Jones. Helped define the era of Prestige TV and here I am writing about a masturbation scene, but hear me out, y’all. In the 1960s, Betty (sad, lonely trash) is married to an unfaithful Don (hot, tortured trash). On top of the stress from a fractured marriage, Betty is rundown due to raising their two kids by herself, cooking all the meals, and ensuring her hair is always on point. Sure, she’s a white woman with easy‑to‑manage straight hair, so the struggle shouldn’t be real, right? Wrong. Hair is hard no matter the texture, and seeing as I can barely make a tuna melt without sweating out a profes­sionally done hairstyle that’s been sprayed and pinned into place, I feel Betty’s pain of ensuring the pot roast and her curls are poppin’. Moving on.

    By the end of the first season, Betty was becoming increas­ingly depressed and horny. In the eleventh episode, a fine-ass door‑to‑door salesman showed up, talking about measuring her upstairs windows. Betty knew better than to risk it all for casual sex, so she asked him to leave. Then she started fantasizing about the salesman and j’d off by rubbing up against her vibrat­ing Whirlpool washer machine. I immediately had two thoughts:

    1.      Damn, the 1960s were rooooooooough. I mean, obvi­ously, because of the Civil Rights Movement, Women’s Lib, and all that jazz. But we all forget that vibrator technology back then was most likely terrible, since getting intimate with a giant home appliance was best-case scenario. Like, what else were women doing? A Bruce Lee standing split kick against a belt massager while watching The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, just to feel something?

    2. Is this what I have to look forward to if I’m ever in a long- term relationship again? I could feel that lonely and unsatisfied even if my partner is there when I wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night?
     
    Suffice it to say, I was very single when I watched this Mad Men episode, and this sad housewife story line only rein­forced my feelings of not wanting to be in a relationship. Cut to a year later. It was 2017. I met British Baekoff (my bf’s code name because he’s British and likes to bake), and everything I said prior—’ll never date someone younger than me, I’ll never date someone in a creative field, I’ll never be in a long-distance relationship—went out the window. Here was this super in­teresting, handsome, charming, quick-witted, funny,...
Reviews-
  • Publisher's Weekly

    July 26, 2021
    2 Dope Queens comedian and actor Robinson (Everything’s Trash but It’s Okay) serves up, in her characteristic laugh-out-loud voice, what it means to be a young, Black success story in this inimitable, comedic tell-all. Robinson gleefully dips into the cultural artifacts of the pandemic and beyond with earnest insights on America’s racial and political developments, skyrocketing to fame while building her “mini empire,” her fully self-possessed “worship at the altar of Angela Bassett,” and quarantining while in a relationship. In “2020 Was Gonna Be My Year! (LOL),” Robinson recounts bingeing Mad Men to catch up on American cultural currency, because “well, we can’t all be goop,” while “Guide to Being a Boss from Someone Who Has Been Building a Mini Empire for the Past Two Years and Counting” offers 11 business tips that “Warren Buffet Should’ve Told Ya,” including that everyone lies during job interviews. (Her former employers believed, for example, that she “could put together a PowerPoint presentation like Don Draper.”) And the title phrase, Robinson writes, is “a directive I’ve said to almost every white being entering my space.” Her no-holds-barred essays are deliciously confessional—no topic is deprived of caps lock or gushing footnotes. Robinson’s legions of fans are in for a treat. Agent: Robert Guinsler, Sterling Lord Literistic.

  • Library Journal

    Starred review from September 1, 2021

    Following up her previous best-selling books (You Can't Touch My Hair; Everything's Trash, But It's Okay), stand-up comedian Robinson, who rose to success with the podcast and TV specials 2 Dope Queens, now presents a collection of laugh-out-loud essays and introspective musings on her life and career so far. Fans of Robinson's podcast and previous books will be familiar with her love of U2 and her path to embracing her natural hair; she writes more on those subjects here and also muses on womanhood, motherhood (of lack thereof), Blackness, and more. Here, like in her previous books, Robinson's writing feels like talking to an old friend, especially when she recounts living with her boyfriend during the pandemic and learning to embrace each other's flaws. The author is at her most vulnerable when detailing her path to launching an imprint, Tiny Reparations Books, and the challenges she faced along the way. Other standout essays relay both the stress and freedom of traveling as a Black woman, unpack the pitfalls of self-care, and interrogate the performative activism of 2020; Black women, especially, will feel seen and heard. VERDICT Robinson has written her best book yet, and her relatable humor will have readers coming back for more.--Stephanie Sendaula, Library Journal

    Copyright 2021 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

  • Kirkus

    August 15, 2021
    A funny, heartfelt, joyful third book from the 2 Dope Queens star and author of You Can't Touch My Hair. Separately, Robinson's hot takes on life mostly hold their own, but when taken together, they create a satisfying, hilarious tapestry. Featuring the author's own style, replete with abbreviated language ("Mother Naych" for Mother Nature) and hashtags ("#NoNewFriendsOrAcquaintancesOrWorldlyExperiences")--which may not appeal to some readers--this steady-clip read provides us with an intimate setting that feels akin to a vibrant conversation with a friend, entertaining as it informs. Society's pandemic helplessness and mishaps underlie several pieces, most of which will resonate with readers. In a related vein, the author examines the seemingly ever expanding commoditization of "self-care" in the bluntly titled chapter, "Self-Care Is Not a Candle and Therapy Is Not a Notebook: How We Are Doing the Most and the Absolute Least at the Same Damn Time." Also at the forefront are Robinson's current life status, as she tackles topics including running her own business, performative allyship ("if you really want a taste of what Blackness has to offer, look around you....Feel secondhand joy when you see a Black family having a good-ass time together. Listen to Black people in the workplace when they have really good ideas. Don't save us. See us"), and the decision to not have children. It's important, she notes, that "no matter what a woman chooses, everyone will refrain from judgment because choosing to be a mother and choosing to be childfree are both decisions worth celebrating because the celebration is in the fact that a woman chose the trajectory of her life." Robinson also pens a love letter to her natural hair: "Full disclosh: I have 4A/B hair in the front third of my head while the rest is 4C and those mofos ain't trying to work together." Throughout, the robust prose moves smoothly, making for a thoroughly enjoyable reading experience. Longtime fans will recognize the hilarity, and newbies will appreciate the frank thoughtfulness.

    COPYRIGHT(2021) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  • Booklist

    September 1, 2021
    Lovers of comedian Robinson's first two essay collections will find all the delightful usual suspects in her third: amazing footnotes and abbrevs aka abbreviations, winding sentences full of pop-culture references, and lots of love for U2 and her now-actual-friend Bono himself. She's been busy since writing Everything's Trash, but It's Okay (2018), including starting her own production company and a publishing imprint with the same name, Tiny Reparations, this book being its fitting debut. Robinson has also, of course, weathered the pandemic and experienced the heightened and sustained cries for racial justice of 2020 and beyond, along with the rest of the world. On these topics and many more, Robinson easily moves from light (quarantining with her boyfriend aka British Baekoff) to serious (the failures of white-led antiracism discussions), a strategy mirrored in each enjoyably morphing, meandering essay. Whether she's sharing what she's learned about being a boss, tossing out statistics on mental-health care, or revealing that she's made great progress in loving her natural hair though the journey will probably never be over, Robinson's writing style is all her own and readers will love her for it. HIGH-DEMAND BACKSTORY: The popularity of Robinson's first two books and the exciting news of her new imprint ensure lots of excitement for this smart, funny, of-the-moment collection.

    COPYRIGHT(2021) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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Please Don't Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes
Please Don't Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes
Essays
Phoebe Robinson
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