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Easy Crafts for the Insane
Cover of Easy Crafts for the Insane
Easy Crafts for the Insane
A Mostly Funny Memoir of Mental Illness and Making Things
Borrow Borrow
From the New York Times bestselling author of Adulting comes a story about how to make something when you’re capable of nothing.
 

Kelly Williams Brown had 700 Bad Days. Her marriage collapsed, she broke three limbs in separate and unrelated incidents, her father was diagnosed with cancer, and she fell into a deep depression that ended in what could delicately be referred to as a “rest cure” at an inpatient facility. Before that, she had several very good years: she wrote a bestselling book, spoke at NASA, had a beautiful wedding, and inspired hundreds of thousands of readers to live as grown-ups in an often-screwed-up world, though these accomplishments mostly just made her feel fraudulent.
 
One of the few things that kept her moving forward was, improbably, crafting. Not Martha Stewart–perfect crafting, either—what could be called “simple,” “accessible” or, perhaps, “rustic” creations were the joy and accomplishments she found in her worst days. To craft is to set things right in the littlest of ways; no matter how disconnected you feel, you can still fold a tiny paper star, and that’s not nothing.
 
In Easy Crafts for the Insane, crafting tutorials serve as the backdrop of a life dissolved, then glued back together. Surprising, humane, and utterly unforgettable, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the unexpected, messy coping mechanisms we use to find ourselves again.
* This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF that contains crafting instructions, a supply list, and illustrations from the book.
From the New York Times bestselling author of Adulting comes a story about how to make something when you’re capable of nothing.
 

Kelly Williams Brown had 700 Bad Days. Her marriage collapsed, she broke three limbs in separate and unrelated incidents, her father was diagnosed with cancer, and she fell into a deep depression that ended in what could delicately be referred to as a “rest cure” at an inpatient facility. Before that, she had several very good years: she wrote a bestselling book, spoke at NASA, had a beautiful wedding, and inspired hundreds of thousands of readers to live as grown-ups in an often-screwed-up world, though these accomplishments mostly just made her feel fraudulent.
 
One of the few things that kept her moving forward was, improbably, crafting. Not Martha Stewart–perfect crafting, either—what could be called “simple,” “accessible” or, perhaps, “rustic” creations were the joy and accomplishments she found in her worst days. To craft is to set things right in the littlest of ways; no matter how disconnected you feel, you can still fold a tiny paper star, and that’s not nothing.
 
In Easy Crafts for the Insane, crafting tutorials serve as the backdrop of a life dissolved, then glued back together. Surprising, humane, and utterly unforgettable, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the unexpected, messy coping mechanisms we use to find ourselves again.
* This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF that contains crafting instructions, a supply list, and illustrations from the book.
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  • From the cover

    Chapter 1

     

    Unmarried

     

    In Which I Leave My Spouse;

    Flee to Independence, Oregon; and Assume a Future So Bright, Protective Eyewear Is Required

     

    It was the summer of 2016, and I was the manifestation of a 1990s country song about how cool it is to be a gal. My freedom and self-sufficiency oozed from every pore. I felt more powerful and in control of my life than ever before, I was excited about the future, I was bopping around in a 1994 Mazda Miata, and it was great.

     

    I'd ejected from my marriage after only a few months, leaving behind a brilliant, loving, and impossible man. I fled to Independence, Oregon (get it?!?), population 8,590. I know I am in INDEPENDENCE because it says that on the water tower right outside my window and also because I am living a romantic comedy with zero subtlety.

     

    I feel an overwhelming sense of freedom that I escaped something I thought inescapable. I am terribly sad, but there is also relief. And of course, tremendous shame. I got married even though I knew I shouldn't, and I hadn't even made it to our one-year paper anniversary.

     

    "Why did you marry him?" you might ask. Easy: he was the smartest, funniest, and kindest person I'd ever met. All three, by a long shot. He would casually drop things in conversation that rearranged my understanding of the universe. He was, and is, astonishingly loyal and loving. He's a man in his 30s who makes new friends and then keeps them forever, along with dozens of other friends he has made starting from when he was five. He loves, fiercely and loyally, the shit out of people, even-and perhaps especially-when they can't love themselves. His table is big; whenever we went anywhere, he had a bunch of people to see. And all those people were amazing, too.

     

    Before we met, he would save up money and then go on, say, a four-month trip by train. He had been everywhere. He's the best storyteller I've ever known-when I heard him recount a story, even if I had been there, it was changed, becoming hilarious and true in ways I hadn't seen. I loved living in the world of his stories. He made me laugh so, so hard, every day, every hour. I would think of his jokes days later and laugh again. I still do.

     

    We were hanging out at his apartment early on, and somehow farting came up. I tossed off a dumb joke I'd made to every guy I've dated since I was 19 to the effect that although farting was fine for other people, I myself had never done it.

     

    "Yeah, no, me either," he said and then frowned, looking worried. "I mean, what do you think it feels like? Do you think it hurts?"

     

    This happened in 2012, and I still sometimes remember it and laugh.

     

    On our first date, I told one of my Amusing Anecdotesª that I had probably told a dozen times. It was about the first time I was out on assignment with one of my Mississippi coworkers who I will call Don, a charming and insane photographer in his 50s. As soon as we were on the highway, Don, with no prompting, launched into a story about the time he was caught trafficking 50 pounds of weed through rural Mississippi in the '70s. I won't relay the whole roundabout tale here, but the punchline was, "Then the biker said, 'Oh, yeah, that state trooper? That's my brother-in-law. I was testin' yew.' "

     

    Former Husband laughed and then said, "And, you know, it's funny because of course that story was also his way of testing you." I almost fell off my stool. No one else had noticed this thing or...

About the Author-
  • Kelly Williams Brown is the New York Times bestselling author of Adulting and Gracious. A former reporter, ad copywriter, and Bourbon Street bartender, she lives with her giant, neurotic dog in Salem, Oregon.
     
Reviews-
  • AudioFile Magazine Author Kelly Williams Brown (ADULTING) uses a natural-sounding yet intimate tone to narrate her memoir. While she's not a professional narrator, listeners will warm to her wry, confessional style. Her delight in all aspects of crafting, which gives her a sense of purpose in troubled times, is infectious. Her approach is hopeful yet slightly bewildered as she details a challenging two-year period of depression and suicidal ideation, divorce, and the loss of several close friends. While her narrative is compelling, her uneven pacing may prompt some listeners to periodically adjust their device's speech rate. Although the audiobook includes instructions and supply lists for many of Brown's crafting projects, some material is limited to the accompanying pdf. M.J. © AudioFile 2021, Portland, Maine
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Easy Crafts for the Insane
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A Mostly Funny Memoir of Mental Illness and Making Things
Kelly Williams Brown
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